Twenty Two: The Age of Maturity?

Next week marks a landmark in my life; my 22^nd birthday. While 22 is not as important a milestone as an 18^th or 21^st, to me it marks an age of maturity and responsibility; the age where you can no longer pretend to be a child.

How I perceive age is that at 18 you are an adult in the eyes of the law, however are still treated as a child in regards to still being an adolescent. At 21 we begin to settle down. Some into long lasting relationships while other into commitments of other sorts such as car loans and mortgages. By this age we are beginning to finish up our tertiary studies and begin a professional career.

This to me is terrifying. For the next week at least I am a 21 year old woman with zero savings and the ambition to write. I don’t have the perception of a ‘career’ as per say, as more of a yearning to follow my words where they shall lead me. I know that I want to build my life on the foundations of veganism, goodness and writing and inside my mind I feel I shall always be proud of my achievements, however I don’t feel this will translate into a worldview worth to the people around me or those who try to judge my worth on a monetary scale.

And this is why I am afraid of 22. While it is the Great Unknown where I may create my own truths, how society will perceive me terrifies me. I do not feel I have ticked off enough of society’s checklist that is created for people becoming young adults. While I have never lived out of home, saved a significant amount of money or travelled abroad, I have however done exactly what I love to do. I have conquered illness, became my own inspiration, pushed my limits and let other lean on me.

I hope that when my day of ‘maturity’ comes next week that I may forget about stereotypes and remember that while I haven’t done everything on my list, I have still done a hell of a lot. The future is unwritten and I shall write it at my own pace.

Perspective

It has occurred to me lately that maybe we aren't the sum of our achievements. We are the sum of our characters. Of our beliefs; of our morals; of our passions. I have been trying to hard to be a writer that I forgot to be Melissa. Melissa the daughter, sister, lover, friend, co-worker, vegan, female, cat person. Melissa the unwritten.

And I think this is the truth of all of us. We are striving towards the 9 - 5 and totally denying the Great Perhaps. We live our lives the same was we live our days. We need to step back and see what it is that we are missing in life before it is too late.

We are taking our lives for granted. I think that at 80, at this rate, we will look back and think "What on earth was I thinking? It was all there in front of me and I threw it away". I can only hope I can find it within myself to stop when I notice myself missing the forest for the trees and to learn to just live. Because all we have in the end, is life.

And I say sorry.

I think that people value life too poorly. We consume the flesh of innocent creatures several times a day without a care to whether the he or she on our plate suffered throughout life and during death. We don't even care to stop and wonder whether they were a he or a she. From that creatures first breath it had a tiny heart, tiny nose, eyes and a little pair of ears. They are not so different from you and I.


We play games where the prime role is to inflict death on those opposing us. We stab, maim, torture, rape and stalk our own kind. We reoffend and reoffend. We cheat on our partners, lie to our friends and family, disrespect ourselves over and over again.


We are ripping down entire rain forests to use as commodities. We are overfishing our oceans to the point of extinction, we are destroying our ozone layer with harmful products. We are destroying the only planet we will ever have.


How is our race; this so called 'alpha species' supposed to survive when all we do is destroy? A lot of the time I am disgusted for what we have done. I can't apologise enough for my kind's destructive and totalitarian nature. I may only hope for a generation removed from today that operates on a system of compassion instead of greed and gluttony

A time to begin

It has been a while since I have just sat down and wrote. I don't have a  good reason as to why this is. I can say I will not neglect to write but the reality is that I am human. We get sloppy and break promises with ourselves and others. We fall short of expectations.


I wish I was less like this and more like the person I want to be: one who doesn't waste so much precious time on trivial things. As we are all aware; life is timed. Nobody is immortal and we all have an expiry date.


This concept has really began to hit home with me recently. No, nobody in close proximity to my life has died nor have I recently experienced any particularly life-altering moments. It is just becoming more apparent everyday that at 21; it really is time to move out of my parent's home.


There are times where I look back and wish I have saved more of my money so I could leave home or take more financial risks however my reality is that that money is gone; spent on bits and pieces. All we have is the present and it is everything we make it. Hopefully with a little careful planning, I will be able to afford to live the life I can only afford in my head.

How do we measure worth?

On the exterior, humanity measures worth in terms of looks, possessions and wealth. I personally have never understood this concept. I believe your 'worth' is determined by your heart - not the physical beating organ but by how you treat others; what you wish in those around you. I would like to hope that everyone gauges worth in this same concept; not because it is my belief but because people would be kinder if they did.


Girls are dying of anorexia because they are trying to live up to the worldly expectations of beauty being synonymous with being thin. If only someone would tell them that the single most beautiful thing you can be is yourself.


Beauty is subjective - which means that out of the six billion beautiful individuals that we share this planet with, you will always be surrounded by love. We are never alone. Yet, why is it that people are found dead in their homes years after they have passed on? What has happened to humanity that we can't even pop in next door to see if our elderly neighbours are alright? When did we become obsessed with our image and less about our minds?


I hope that for not even one moment I succumb to this way of existence. I hope I may always have it within myself to help those less fortunate. And to remember that 'less fortunate' doesn't always mean poorer. There are many ways to be disadvantaged. I hope I can love unconditionally; even those who test my patience and my beliefs. I hope that I may help others to see the beauty within themselves.

Coming to life

I feel that I am going through a moment of great change in my life. I have come to a fork in the road where I have to choose between continuing on eating consciously but not really doing much else about animal cruelty - or I can choose to come to life.


Lately I have felt unfulfilled and haven't been able to put my finger on why. At my current job I am working two days a week and it has me considering what to do with the other five days. Do I sit on my ass watching hercules re-runs? Should I finally push through my procrastination and study?


I would really like to volunteer with an animal shelter or an animal rights place. I really want to get into advocacy; or at a push activism. I just feel that I personally can't feel whole unless I do this. I will keep you posted on how my efforts pan out.


As I promised long ago, here are a few links of pure gold, enjoy :)


Vegan Eats
http://www.veggie-wedgie.com/?p=2077


Sustainable shopping
http://www.theveganstore.com.au
http://www.veganonline.com.au/shop


The beginning of something beautiful
http://www.animalsaustralia.org/
http://www.voiceless.org.au/
http://www.unleashed.org.au/

source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mussy_5/5773433173/sizes/l/in/photostream

To future expectations

I feel I have been neglecting to write lately, on here and in general. I'm finding the more time goes by, the more excuses I can come up with. Life gets in the way, assignments need to get done, the dishes need washing, the list goes on. But, I think, what truly makes a writer is getting in there when you're tired, cold, in a bad mood, or knowing there is a pile of other stuff to be done. Being a writer is writing at unattractive times when you would prefer to be doing something else.

So, taking this into consideration, I hope to "blog" a whole lot more in the future, as opposed to my track record of one per month, which to be honest, is quite dismal. I can only hide behind the facade of writer's block for so long.

Here is to keeping my promises :)