Sunday, February 5, 2012

On being the best that you can: part 1

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Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but starting today you can create a new ending. We have all lived through years filled with experiences; some good, some bad; and essentially, no two people will have identical experiences of each event in life. Sometimes we find ourselves in a rut and aren't too sure where to begin. Here are some places to start.
Stop avoiding your problems: This one is fairly obvious but how often do we run from our problems instead of standing our ground and sorting them out? We need to start facing them head on, its the only way to sort them out. I'm not saying it is going to be easy, but it will be so worth it. Life is filled with trials and sorting out the kinks makes space for us to change what is wrong and try again.
Stop clinging to the past: You will never be able to move forward if you are stuck in the past asking yourself 'what if'. You need to let go of your past and realise that it has left, but an even more exciting chapter is happening right now!
Stop fearing your potential for mistakes: We make mistakes, its in our nature as human beings. But there is no shame in this. Doing something and getting it wrong is much more productive than doing nothing. Behind every success is a history littered with failure as it is the path to doing it right. You can't learn from success, only from the trials and mistakes made on the way.
Stop looking to others for happiness: You can't love someone until you truly love yourself. It is not healthy to invest so much in another person anyway. There will always be the possibility that they could leave you and leave you feeling hurt. You must remember that while it is fine to love someone, don't use them as the vessel for loving yourself.
Stop lying to yourself: You are the only person in the world that you can't lie to. You can always pretend that things are not as they seem but being truthful and accepting what is at hand will bring you peace. Our lives improve only when we take chances and the most important aspect of this transformation is to be truthful to yourself.
Stop pretending you are something that you're not: One of the challenges of life is trying to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else. There is always going to be someone better or prettier or whatever, but that isn't you. You need to be your best, not the best of somebody else. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
Stop pulling yourself up on past mistakes: No matter how bad things get, they can always get better. I am sure that plenty of you have fallen in love with the wrong person only for it to end in devastation; or to fail at something you tried really hard to do well at. There is no shame in this. We all make mistakes, have struggles and have regrets but that mustn't stop us from starting fresh and simply living in the now free of all past pains.
Stop putting your needs last: The most painful thing is losing sight of who you are in the process of pleasing others. While it is of course important to help others, it is just as important to help yourself. You must always remember to follow your passions wherever they may lead you.
Stop spending time with frenemies: This one is particularly emancipating. A few times in my life I have simply had to stop and reassess whether or not a particular friendship was doing more harm than good. Life is too short to spend with people who are intent on sucking the happiness out of you. You should never have to fight for acceptance or for space in someone's life. You are enough. You don't need to change for a person, and subsequently, they should treat you as such. If they don't treat you right, there are plenty of others who will.
Stop trying to buy happiness: For years I have looked to retail therapy as my form of de-stressing, and you know what? It doesn't work. I always find myself worried that I may have overindulged. I have never found it has brought me happiness. You may wish to have an item or two, but in actual fact, you will receive the most happiness from things which are free such as love, laughter and discovering your true passions in life.

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