Sunday, May 6, 2012

On passing judgement


I am reading this book at the moment called 'The Me Myth" by Andrew Griffiths. He writes about not judging people for who you see them to be materialistically. This is a hard concept in today's society. It seems every time we turn on out TV we are asked to judge people on their singing or cooking; open a magazine and we are asked to judge celebrities on their clothing. How did it become so easy for us to judge?

For a long time I have judged people. I am short tempered, assume without knowledge and I give few second chances; but I am changing. I have found that if we are to judge people, we lose sight of who they are in their mind, in their soul and in their heart. We lose the ability to get to know this person as an individual.

Last night I helped my Mum cater for her colleagues birthday party. She is not a cater; nor am I but she agreed to anyway as she is a chef at her work (a retirement village). She is an important woman to me and to many others as well. However, the first part of the evening, I could see in her face that she felt she was looked down on for being "hired help". These were wealthy people and this wasn't exactly our crowd. We put on smiles and sucked it up counting down till we could high tail it home.

However, something strange happened. As I am sure you are already aware, I am a vegan. The part of veganism that is less documented is that it is desperately hard to find finger food edible at parties, or even restaurants that will cater to our needs. When I found a guest was a coeliac I set about to make sure she had something to eat. She was very grateful for this and I saw an individual in her. The room was less 'judging' in how I had assumed people saw me. 

At the end of the night many people came up and thanked us for our help. They seemed genuinely thankful and we got chatting to a few people. There was a man who worked a block from me and was very lovely; a woman who worked with elderly war heroes keeping them mobile. Genuinely nice people with good souls. 

What I am trying to say is that if we judge others, we immediately decide if a person is 'good enough'. Good enough for what I am not sure. But what I do know is that people are inherently good if only you allow them to show themselves.

"It is easy to judge and to put someone in a pigeonhole. But it is spectacular to have an open mind and to accept and welcome other people for who and what they are. It is hard at first, but give it time and it will become second nature."


  • May 11, 2012 at 9:52 PM

    Just found your blog & so glad there is a positive & mindful blog around. I have been following some of the buddhist teachings for a while & when it comes to judgement the best thing to do (I find) is put the shoe on the other foot. Imagine what can be in peoples lives for them to decide to act, dress or speak the way they do. Usually I come to a logical conclusion & I find myself being compassionate instead of judgemental.

  • May 17, 2012 at 8:12 AM

    Aw thank you so much honey :) I really like your blog too :) Especially the post about whether or not to smack a child. For some reason I always find myself wondering about the life I want my very future children to grow up in. I might have to start following these buddhist blogs too I think! I try very hard to feel 'zen'. You are right, if you put yourself in anothers shoes you can usually find empathy :) x Melissa

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