On being the best that you can: part 1

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but starting today you can create a new ending. We have all lived through years filled with experiences; some good, some bad; and essentially, no two people will have identical experiences of each event in life. Sometimes we find ourselves in a rut and aren't too sure where to begin. Here are some places to start.

Stop avoiding your problems: This one is fairly obvious but how often do we run from our problems instead of standing our ground and sorting them out? We need to start facing them head on, its the only way to sort them out. I'm not saying it is going to be easy, but it will be so worth it. Life is filled with trials and sorting out the kinks makes space for us to change what is wrong and try again.

Stop clinging to the past: You will never be able to move forward if you are stuck in the past asking yourself 'what if'. You need to let go of your past and realise that it has left, but an even more exciting chapter is happening right now!

Stop fearing your potential for mistakes: We make mistakes, its in our nature as human beings. But there is no shame in this. Doing something and getting it wrong is much more productive than doing nothing. Behind every success is a history littered with failure as it is the path to doing it right. You can't learn from success, only from the trials and mistakes made on the way.

Stop looking to others for happiness: You can't love someone until you truly love yourself. It is not healthy to invest so much in another person anyway. There will always be the possibility that they could leave you and leave you feeling hurt. You must remember that while it is fine to love someone, don't use them as the vessel for loving yourself.

Stop lying to yourself: You are the only person in the world that you can't lie to. You can always pretend that things are not as they seem but being truthful and accepting what is at hand will bring you peace. Our lives improve only when we take chances and the most important aspect of this transformation is to be truthful to yourself.

Stop pretending you are something that you're not: One of the challenges of life is trying to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else. There is always going to be someone better or prettier or whatever, but that isn't you. You need to be your best, not the best of somebody else. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

Stop pulling yourself up on past mistakes: No matter how bad things get, they can always get better. I am sure that plenty of you have fallen in love with the wrong person only for it to end in devastation; or to fail at something you tried really hard to do well at. There is no shame in this. We all make mistakes, have struggles and have regrets but that mustn't stop us from starting fresh and simply living in the now free of all past pains.

Stop putting your needs last: The most painful thing is losing sight of who you are in the process of pleasing others. While it is of course important to help others, it is just as important to help yourself. You must always remember to follow your passions wherever they may lead you.

Stop spending time with frenemies: This one is particularly emancipating. A few times in my life I have simply had to stop and reassess whether or not a particular friendship was doing more harm than good. Life is too short to spend with people who are intent on sucking the happiness out of you. You should never have to fight for acceptance or for space in someone's life. You are enough. You don't need to change for a person, and subsequently, they should treat you as such. If they don't treat you right, there are plenty of others who will.

Stop trying to buy happiness: For years I have looked to retail therapy as my form of de-stressing, and you know what? It doesn't work. I always find myself worried that I may have overindulged. I have never found it has brought me happiness. You may wish to have an item or two, but in actual fact, you will receive the most happiness from things which are free such as love, laughter and discovering your true passions in life.

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HTW: Curing a hangover

Had I started this Wednesday segment a little earlier in the year I would have realised the need for this post LAST week when post Australia Day 'headaches' would have been rife. Alas, it is here now.


While it has been a while since my last hangover (the hangover from hell: it was an entire 12 hours after waking up that I would actually speak and a whole 7 days until it was finally gone). The fear of remembering that feeling puts me off having more than a few glasses. Yeah, Im old, I know :P


It's the morning after and you've woken up to a frighteningly painful migraine. Your guts are churning and you're so incredibly thirsty. What are you meant to do when you have over-indulged?


Sleep: This one is fairly obvious. The easiest way out of pain is to sleep through it. You're going to feel like rubbish so you're day was already going to be a write off. Let your body recover with a nap, it will eventually forgive you for the night before and may even love you again.


Drink: You are going to want to replenish your body with as much water, fruit juice, orange juice or Gatorade as you can keep down. It's probably best not to drink all these drinks one after the next as it would probably taste strange. Just one, or two would be quite adequate.


No caffeine: If you need it desperately then a weak coffee/tea wouldn't go astray but steer clear of high caffeine beverages. Your body is dehydrated and caffeine will continue to dehydrate your system. Its best to lay low for a while.


Oranges: I know I have already brought this one up, but orange juice! You want vitamin C in your system, it is your friend! Oranges, orange juice; anything orange flavoured you are going to want in your system (orange cruisers; probably not the best idea right now).


Pickles: These disgusting slimy suckers are very rich in minerals, which you are going to want right now. Personally, I hate pickles but I am not everyone. So if you can stomach them, go right ahead, your body will love you for it.


Shower: This is my favourite. I throw a towel down to cover the plughole and curl into a ball and pretend I have died (not really, just feel like I have). But really, a shower will help. Apparently fluctuating from hot to cool is a great idea, but I like it on warm. You will find your balance however.


Berocca: My boyfriend is a seasoned drinker. He plays sport all year long and is definitely 'one of the boys' so when I see him reach for the Berocca, I just know he went hard. This stuff must work them if he is using it. You can get them in handy little pre-made drinks in the cold section of supermarkets too, win! Saves you from having to actually think in your decrepit state.


Exercise: I have heard bad things about exercising while hungover, but movement is good for curing a hangover. I guess if it is a very severe migraine I might advise against it, but for a moderate/mild hangover, try some soft movement like walking or going for a swim. Don't forget to replenish your fluids!


Panadol: In very moderate doses. There is a down side to these medications in that too many is very bad for your health while aspirin will thin your blood and ibuprofen can cause stomach bleeding so only use if in dire need of it.


Vitamins: Before bed (pre-hangover) take a B vitamin with a glass of water. You will feel better for it in the morning.




So what do you think? Have I missed any? x Melissa

On overcoming bullying

I wanted to write about something a little special today; something a little bit more important than what I might usually write. While it is so important to keep positive, it is maybe even more important to keep from being negative.


Today I wanted to write about bullying. Growing up I was never the coolest kid, and while from time to time I had rude snipes made in my direction or a few mean words thrown my way, I wouldn't consider myself a victim of schoolyard bullying. But while I am lucky enough to have escaped high school unscathed, it doesn't mean that everyone did. I would just like to point out that this post is not a back handed snipe directed at anyone, nor am I trying to bring to the surface grievances with anyone. I am merely trying to bring this taboo topic to light. 


First and foremost, I believe we all should have the freedom to be ourselves. I believe that if you are born as a male and you are sexually attracted to men, or women to women, then that is so fine. You deserve to have the right to love whoever you wish to. I believe you should have the right to choose your own decisions in life and above all, YOU DESERVE TO FEEL SAFE. Always. 


As a vegan I have had a fair few rude comments directed my way, and I do consider myself to be quite passive. It is my right to eat beans just as much as it is the next persons choice to eat salmon, or strawberries, or so on. And while I do not advocate the eating of flesh, this is a decision I came to on my own accord as everyone else has came to their own decisions about their lifestyle and health. 


We are all beautiful! We all have a heart and know what "love" is and have aspirations for the present and the future and dreams we hope to fulfil. I have huge dreams, maybe even a little too big for me to fill, but that is what living is about. It is about embracing all that there is to embrace in this universe; to seize the day; to feel safe in the knowledge that your character is your destiny. 


But some don't embrace these things. They take pleasure in hurting those who are already down, those who are unsure or indecisive of their move. Those who are not 100% themselves. This is called bullying and it is disgusting. It upsets me when someone will come to me trying to "bitch" about another person because I know at that moment, the person being spoken about is having their character judged. Does this person deserve this? Is whatever they have done, or supposed to have done worth their good name and respect? No.


I ask of you, next time you see or hear of someone being spoken to or about rudely, ask yourself "How would I feel being spoken to like this?" 


People may forget what you said or what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

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Changing my story

It has become more and more apparent to me in the past few weeks that life is starting to change pace. For myself and the people I know. A lot of the people I went to school with are getting promotions, getting married, engaged, getting pregnant, raising kids or buying homes. And it is so inspiring and amazing and I couldn't be happier for them. I always knew that 2012 was going to be big; and that my 22nd year would lead me to a more mature and professional platform but not so soon in the year.

So this morning, I am pleased to say, something amazing happened. As of yesterday, I had zero savings whatsoever, just a deep pit in my stomach filled with anxiety about the fact that at my age I have nothing to show for my time here financially. Then I stumbled across this post by Rachel from In Spaces Between, and it all made sense. Every day we are writing our own story, and the longer I sat back and moped about what I didn't have instead of embracing what I did; the longer I would be harbouring this negativity.

So I opened up a Ubank account. It's basically a bank account with zero fees and a hefty interest turnover. And then I did something a little crazy, I set my goal as $20,000 and named it "home account", because yes, I just started saving for a home. Today. And immediately I feel I can do anything. Granted it is going to take a long time but I am alright with this. 

One thing I have learn from my experience with blogging thus far is that you need to push, push, push until you break through. I have been blogging from this blog for the past 2 years or so (I have started fresh more than once!) and I have nine followers. But of those nine, I have gained two in the past week (shout out to Paige and Lilia!). That is perseverance! Nothing worth having will ever come easily, and I don't think I would want it to; where is the lesson in that!

What would you change if only you had the inspiration to?

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On being exceptionally mediocre

Today I think I had what I can only explain as an "ah-hah' moment (thank you Oprah). I was sitting at my desk where I do most of my serious work (procrastinating) and was frustrated as always because whatever I was working on wasn't doing what I wanted it to. Then it occurred to me. IT DIDN'T MATTER. I needed to just stop and breathe. 


It occurred to me that I wasn't going to get my blog to bounce to 10,000 views overnight or that I was even going to get my carpet to pre-cat cleanness. And I think that the beauty in this realisation is that I am okay with this.


You see, I am an intense perfectionist, and it really doesn't help that I am both a vegan and have an anxiety disorder (none linked of course), but it does mean that I always need to have complete control over my environment, refuse to drink coffee made by anyone but myself as the pixies tell me they use regular milk and I have the tendency to spend entire weekends scrubbing the kitchen. You get the point. I like things my way, and I like to think I can conquer anything with my "can-do" attitude.


But what is wrong with simply being okay? Why must we be so perfect and exceptional at everyone we try our hands at? Is it ever okay to stop and go "that's good enough by my mediocre standard"? I think it is. 


But then I had another thought, what if we make our perfection by simply showing up? By getting up and writing through the mediocrity, the days where you're feeling particularly depressed and the days where you don't have a single word of importance to share. To just be the message and push and push and push until you break through?


Maybe if we delicately work on these not-so-great attributes we can get to a level of greatness. Way back in 2010 I said to myself "Self, let's learn French". I had no reasoning behind this as the only person I know who speaks French is my boyfriend, who's vocabulary is roughly 10 words long. But I wanted to learn French damn it! And I still am, at snail slowness. But I am trying, and that is my slow perfection I guess.


Is there anything you wish you could give more time to?

"How To" Wednesdays: Fixing a car - basic style.

This may sound like a fairly random choice of blog post, but if you knew my Mum it would be completely natural in your mind. You see, my Mum is deeply feminist and has never let allowed me to pass on a chore that a man would stereotypically do. Hence, as soon as I was legally able to drive, I was taught exactly how to deal with any troubles my car might get me into.


So without any further ado...


Adding 'water': As you probably have noticed, you have a temperature indicator on your dash, C (cold) and H (hot). If the needle is pointing towards H, chances are you are in need of some water or coolant (which is a mixture of water and antifreeze: do not drink this! You WILL die). If so, wait until your engine has cooled down (roughly 30 minutes after turning off your engine). When it is cool enough, pop the hood. You are looking for a plastic reservoir tub with some form of drawing indicating water (your manual will give you an exact idea of where to look). If in doubt, fill to the "full" mark. Done!


Buffing out scratches: As you may already be aware, there are a lot of idiots on our roads; and that is double when you're in a car park it seems. So it is only natural to cover this topic as well. Our cars paintwork is set into four different layers: steel, primer, colour and finally, clear-coat. If you're scratch has cut deeper than the paint layer it is probably best you disregard this information and take your beloved car to a professional. However, for minor scratches, clean the area with soapy water and dry. Once this is done, apply a small amount of rubbing compound (a gritty wax-like product you can buy from auto stores) onto a foam buffer. Use the buffer to work in a circular motion on the scratch until the surface evens out, and voila, scratch be gone!


Changing a tyre: Strangely, this is not a skill I learnt from my Mum, but in fact an ex-boyfriend! None the less, I now know how to change a tyre. Now you want to make sure you do this right, people have died from doing this wrong. Strong men included. If you think you're up to the challenge, you want to put a chock behind a wheel on the opposite side of the car (a brick or something heavy will do, you don't want the car to move). Locate the jack in your car, it is usually under the lining of your boot, somewhere around your spare tyre. You want to place this close enough to the affected tyre as to move the car high enough for you to work on the area, but not too close as to impede your chances of pulling this off. Jack it up until the affected wheel is off the ground. NEVER GET UNDER THE CAR! If the jack fails and you are under the car, your chances of survival are slim. Remove the nuts and slide the tyre towards you and set aside. You now want to put the spare tyre on and firmly screw the nuts back on. Lower the jack so the tyre is again on the ground then tighten the nuts. Done!


Checking air pressure: This is an important one we usually forget about. If you don't have enough air pressure in your tyres they will wear away much faster meaning more sets of tyres, as well as higher fuel consumption meaning more stops at the petrol station. Different cars have different tyre pressures so you're going to want to check your manual. Next, get yourself to a petrol station; they should have an electronic air pump which is free to use. Remove the cap from your tyre valve and set the required tyre pressure onto the pump. Place the hose nozzle onto the tyre and squeeze trigger. The pump will beep when the tyre pressure has been reached. Next, remove the hose and replace the nozzle, then repeat for your other tyres.


Checking the oil: Once your engine is cool enough (30 minutes) you want to pop the bonnet. Next, locate the dipstick (it has a loop at the top). Find yourself a rag as this may get a little messy! Pull the dipstick out and wipe it with the rag to remove any leftover oil. Replace the dipstick for a few seconds then repeat. This will help to give a true indication of the oil level. If the oil stain doesn't reach the 'full' level then you are going to need to do a little more work. You want to find the oil filter (middle of engine). Remove its cap and pour small amounts in until the dipstick is reading as full. Replace the cap, you're all done. Remember to never go more than three months without checking your oil.

An announcement! Wednesday shall be...

Happy Hump-day everyone! Now, bear with me but I want to try something a little bit different, a little bit fun even. In the vast black hole that I call my mind I have concocted a rather exciting little idea...


I have decided that from now until the end of time as I know it, Wednesday shall be known as "How-To-Wednesdays" (or "HTW" for short) here at Breathe The Rain. Crazy right? Anyway, my justification behind this is the saying "you learn something new everyday", except most weeks I only learn one or two things, so it's time to get our knowledge on people!


Its going to be a lot of random things at first but as I hone in on what my lovely readers (you!) want to read or learn, then I will start to specialise a little. So please, feel free to drop me a line, no matter how small or large your question or topic is, and I'll try and teach you a thing or two :)


Today I will be teaching you the basics of car maintenance, so stay posted!