Sunday, April 22, 2012

Sunshine

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Something amazing happened the other day; I found my sunshine. I don't know where it had been hiding but I am so grateful that is has returned. I do feel a lot like I have a backlog of happiness pushing its way into my life however, and it feels great!


I have decided a few things over the past week. Anyone who knows me well knows that I am completely indecisive and will jump from choice to choice very quickly, however these choices are good and solid and will bring joy to myself and others. 


I am three years into a half-baked Arts degree majoring in Media and Writing. I hate it. I love the writing, well writing in general I guess, but the reason for the degree in the first place, other than to keep my Dad happy, was for the Media. You see, I was hell-bent on being a journalist; that was until I realised that journalism isn't about spreading joy and happiness, it is about the facts. I simply can't bring myself to invest so heavily in a career which isn't going to bring joy to others, alas goodbye journalism. 


But I needed those journo units to make up enough units to graduate, so have had a bit of a heart to heart with myself and have decided to change to a psychology major. I have always been insanely interested in cognitive behaviour. It is insane how much of who we are is to do with circumstances and mindsets we find ourselves in. So I think this will be a really good decision; to study psychology. It would give me an insight into the inner workings of our mind and through that I will be able to help people. Not as a psychologist but through writing from a psychological insight. It sounds boring but wow am I excited!


Have you made any huge decisions lately? I would love to know :) x Melissa


{Image by the Notebook Doodles}

Saturday, April 21, 2012

I am back

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I have been contemplating how to word this, but here goes I guess. I just wanted to say that I am back. In a way I feel really guilty for not writing these past few weeks. And by not writing, I mean at all. I stopped penning little stories and I didn't manage to help my friends Mandy and Dave out with their website and I didn't even get any uni work done. 


My reasoning behind this absurdity is that I made the conscious decision not to write during depressive episodes. For the first time in what has probably been a good two months, I feel joyous again. Depression is not a new issue to me. It isn't even an obvious one. It is simply another aspect of my personality which comes and goes. 


The past two months have been a little strange. I can't really remember what it was that triggered all of this   but three nervous breakdowns, two bottles of Mega B and one failed uni semester later I am starting to feel a lot like Melissa again. I am hopeful that this is how I will continue to feel.


What I have learnt from all of this is that "this too shall pass" because it always does. Always. No matter what you have done or what you are doing through, you can always redeem yourself. You can always start a new ending and you can always make something beautiful from something imperfect.